Blog I wrote for BeYourOwn
Support network for me is like a fishing net where each string is dependent on the other for its strength. If one string breaks off the entire or parts of the net are not functional. The true meaning, essence, and power of the word ‘Interdependence’ are brought to light and life here.
From family, friends, colleagues, service providers, and the list can go on. They are around you 24/7. They make your day-to-day living smoother so you can focus on your journey.
You never feel lonely, they help you to grow, they hold you when you fall, and elevate you when you achieve. They listen to your endless stories and complaints. They create a safe environment for you. Your personal circle of enthusiastic supporters!
However, one day you realize the people you could rely on, people who uplift you no matter what, have distanced themselves from you. So make sure you get the right support network, for you!
Get A Healthy Support Network
That’s when it dawns on you, that being consumed and caught up with your own life, you have ignored those who matter. Lack of appreciation, gratitude, compassion, and value for the near and dear ones has created a rift in your relationships, either at work, home, or among friends. In simple words, they have felt invisible! Now, please do not be hard on yourself. It’s being called Human and the web you have consciously or subconsciously been caught up in is called Life!
We all have moments of ups and downs in life, however, how we choose to view the situations going forward and deal with them- that inner strength is in our hands! I firmly believe when you show appreciation towards each other it creates an atmosphere of respect, worthiness, higher self-esteem in yourself and others. It propels and nurtures growth in you as well as your confidence.
You are reading this either out of curiosity, boredom or you have felt ignored or have blindsided someone. The reason now is of no importance, what’s important is that you can change your thought process, your behavior, and your actions going forward. You owe this to others and yourself! So, in the future what can you do differently to have and enjoy the fruits of a healthy relationship – a thriving support circle? Below are a few tips irrespective of which side of the fence you have been on, from my journeys and experiences.
Reflect and release
Reflect on the current situation and release your defensive behavior, pick up the phone and reach out to the people who matter. Apologize for your behavior. No justifications, just a simple ‘’I am sorry’.
Pay attention to the verbal as well as the non-verbal body language. Listen without interrupting. Listening makes others feel you are interested in how they feel. They matter! Also, look out for the unspoken words. And for me, eye contact is very crucial in making anyone feel valued.
Step back and take a drone’s view on the situation. Look at it from their perspective. Walk-in their shoes, observe how it makes you feel, what impact it’s having on you. Then ask yourself, what experiences would you like to enjoy and benefit from the relationship or your support circle.
Boundaries for a healthy support ring
No relationship is born healthy, they have to be nurtured and cared for. Set boundaries for healthy relationships. Don’t assume anything. Start taking steps to induce confidence, emotional security and clarity of expectations from either side, in all your relationships – be it at home, work, friends, or with your service providers.
You have the power to say ‘No’ to situations, events, people, and emotions that don’t support you. This power is in you and no one can take it away, so use it wisely. So next time, before you say or do anything, or when you realize you have crossed the boundary,or if you have been a giver for too long, please ask yourself ‘’What am I consciously choosing?’’, ”What habits and patterns I leaning towards?” and ‘’How are such actions impacting me?’’
So How is your Support Network?
As I consistently point out, ”The power to succeed and overcome hurdles of life must come from within, then that power – it’s yours for life”
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